The Table

When you look pretty good on the outside but not so much on the inside, it is hard for others to understand the reality of NET cancer. Even surrounded by people that care for us, we can still feel alone in this life with NET cancer. So, when you meet others with neuroendocrine cancers, you may not have much more in common than your diagnosis, but you will instantly feel a deep connection. It is an unexplainable feeling. You can speak freely and discuss the more challenging pieces of this puzzle with someone who may have a missing piece to help you. Your loved one can have a friend that they never imagined needing until this diagnosis. If you meet a caregiver going through the same emotions or using the same efforts to help your loved ones, it feels like you have been seen and heard in a way that is just hard for others to understand. You cling to the acceptance and understanding you will find from someone in this situation.

We met a few people along the way at conferences, meetings, and online support groups who have become family. We call ourselves The Table. We bring all our issues to the table, and, like the legs of a table, we hold one another up. If we can figure something out for one of us, we may have solved something for ourselves in the future. The worries that have been discussed in our group have been etched in the table, like carvings. We have been through surgeries, procedures, and helping one another decipher labs or scans.

We also know it is okay to get together and talk about anything but NET cancer. That is because we are all aware of what we carry with us. There is no explanation needed in dealing with bathroom breaks, meds, or fatigue. We know the value of being present for the great stuff as well as the not so great. We have had the privilege of celebrating wonderful life events that feel like triumphs to us. Through these many years, we have shared love, concern, listening, problem solving, and--most importantly--some amazing times together.

When my husband Jim passed away, our Table showed up from other states and towns. We strengthened our pact to continue to show up for each other. I can tell you this, my life is blessed by this support. If you have the option, build a table. These people will be a beacon of light and love. This table will hold so much for you. The NET community is one giant table if you ask me, but it's good to have some people right at your own table, real or virtual.