Bee Connected

The other day a bee landed on the hood of my car. This happens a lot to me. I have this idea in mind that since he passed away, Jimmy sends me bees. I always called him a “worker bee.” He had two speeds. All in or asleep. When I saw this cute little bee resting on my car, it made my heart smile.

I got in the car and started driving down the street. My thought was this little bee would fly away, but as I gained speed down the street, this fuzzy guy hung on for dear life. I pulled over and we had a little stare down. I sat there looking at the bee and worried about it. Especially since I thought it may be a little conduit to Jimmy. I rummaged around my car and found a couple pieces of mail and stepped out to work on removing the bee. I should mention that I was so allergic to bees as a child that I had to get little shots of bee venom to get some immunity. Getting stung isn’t a picnic for me, but I took my chances. I scooched the bee onto my piece of mail and set him down on the grass - upside down! (Oops!) His legs started kicking at me… so, I flipped him over as gently as possible with an envelope containing a coupon for the new pizza place! Not great to make a bee mad at you even when you are trying to help them.

I literally said goodbye to the bee and headed back out on the open road… to Trader Joes.

The whole drive, I worried about the bee. I started to think I was a bit of a nutter. I also worried that my neighbors were watching and trying to figure out what I was up to now. However! What is better than empathy? Feeling for others is what makes us better. To some, it is just a bee. To me, it has a little heartbeat. We all have a heartbeat. I wonder if that should be basic empathy training. Remember we are all fluttering around with our hearts beating, trying to land somewhere safe to come up with a good solid idea of what to do next. I feel like this is something else that is a gift from Jimmy. I am more in tune with how we all need connection and understanding.

While I see so many neuroendocrine cancer families dealing with treatments, decisions, appointments, pain, and a long list of other things, I can’t help but feel that we are all carrying so much. We cannot pick up all of the burdens for everyone, but I sure can empathize with the way this cancer changes our lives. We have different pathways to take, but we are all on the same highway. I know that sometimes we may think we know what someone else needs but in reality, we can only listen and know they are choosing the course that works for them. Showing empathy in these situations makes such a difference. Sometimes, I think we approach decisions clinically and with good reason. We are all trying to be well versed on the available treatments and want to share our knowledge. We are so blessed in this community to have support. All the information can start to overwhelm us. After all, sometimes we are tired and need a place to rest our bodies and minds. For those that may need some extra kindness and understanding, our efforts to show up for them is healing to all of us. I know that is never the wrong decision. Advice can be tricky but boy, a little true understanding can carry someone over a rough patch on their journey.

Empathy is a great way to connect with a fellow caregiver or someone living with NET cancer. It is a chance to understand another person’s perspective and be able to honestly say, “I understand what you are dealing with.” Confirming that their feelings on their decisions or health are being heard by a fellow heartbeat, can change someone’s stress level or their outlook on themselves. I love the neuroendocrine cancer community, because we tend to practice this already. I sometimes wonder if that is part of the secret sauce in our community. We are incredibly kind to one another. I hear all the time how incredible the NET world is at being knowledgeable and approachable.

As you navigate your path, please know that the Healing NET is a soft spot to land if you need some understanding with a side of empathy.

In case you are wondering, I did not look for the bee on the way home from Trader Joes, but I did buy the honeycomb dipped in chocolate to have as a snack. Not sure if that is pro bee or not, but I sure hope so. It was delicious. As we turn toward the slower pace of summer, keep an eye out for some little signs like a bee, reminding us to hydrate and rest. I hope you take some time to be extra kind to those around you and take good care of yourself. Your beating heart is important.

Karalyn

PS. A few days after I wrote this article, I wasn’t feeling well and had a doctor's appointment. As I left the house, a bee flew in front of my car and escorted me until I turned out of my neighborhood. It was either a kind of happy coincidence or a full circle moment. Either way, it made me think of Jimmy and in all the ways I am reminded of his giving, hardworking spirit.